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气死老师的回答

単裑┉蒾網 发表于 2007-1-1 21:45:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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1.高数课,老师在黑板上奋笔疾书,底下闹成一片。老师忍无可忍:“同学们声音小一点!”一哥们曰:“老师,慢慢你就习惯啦!”老师无语。   

2.高中全校必须穿校服,有一复读的学生从来都不穿。一日,老师看到此同学没穿校服,问其为什么不穿,此同学大怒,曰:“我妈又没死,为什么要穿孝服!!”老师汗到死。   

3.老师拖堂:“最后我还要讲一点。。。”后派一男生接口大声道:“强扭的瓜不甜!”全场寂静。老师脸铁青:“下课!“   

4.记得初中做几何,数学老师狂怒,拿两本本子砸讲台上:“xx、xxx你们两的答案怎么是一样的?!!”只听下面小声:“君子所见略同。”   

偶们老师一次上课时说:“老板就是老板着脸,老婆就是老婆婆妈妈,老伴就是老陪伴着你。。。”偶同桌大声问老师:“老师,那老师是不是就是底下老湿呀?”老师暴怒。   

5.初中时下课喜欢几个男生一个扑蝴蝶(现在想想真无聊),结果一同学玩得太兴奋,上课铃响时,数学老师叫他几遍都没回答。上课5分钟后,此同学跑到门口喊报告,老师生气的说:“我就是喊一条狗,它都会摇尾巴啊!”此同学小声的接到:“我又没尾巴!”全班暴笑,连老师也忍不住笑了。   

6.上语文课,老师说:“其实黄鼠狼是不吃鸡的,那是科学家经过实验得出的。曾经把一只鸡和黄鼠狼关在一起,第二天你们猜怎么了?”同学接道:“鸡怀孕了!”   

7.某天连上两节政治课,第一节下了之后没人擦黑板,第二节政治老师看到,很生气地问:“值日生怎么不擦黑板?”这时一个很理直气壮的声音说:“谁污染谁治理!”全班大笑。   

8.高三,几何老师,一老太,爱自吹,巨烦人。一日在课上:“我在市教育局都很受重视的,他们总是请我去一起研究问题,每次都是车接车送。。。”(注:此老太南方人,说到这 里故意有一停顿以加强语气)。我:“三轮么?”结果:从此被禁止上几何课。   

9.高中的时候,第一次上劳动课,老师是个老头,自我介绍说“我叫吴树山。”偶马上接道:“西北望长安,可怜无数山。”全班爆笑,老师面色铁青,偶被罚干重活。   

10.语文课,老师叫起一昏睡同学回答问题,该同学迷迷糊糊啥也说不出,老师说:“你会不会呀?不会也吱一声啊!”该同学:“吱。”老师汗。   

11.音乐课上,教师做音乐接龙,即前一个同学喝一个音调的“拉”,下一个同学要先重复前一个同学的“拉”,再唱出另一个音调的“拉”。有个男生无聊,在每个人的“拉”音后都加个字,什么“拉风”、“拉面”、“拉大便”之类,等到他用非常优美的音色唱出一个“拉”后,音乐老师笑咪咪的看着他说:“让我们看看你能拉什么。”   

12.我班的一个女孩在后排听随身听,耳朵堵着,所以说话声很大,对她同桌说:“老师过来告诉我一声。”几乎所有同学都听到了。老师也不例外,看看那位同学,然后说:“我不过去了!”   

13.一次学校开联欢会,老师(60多的老太)让出节目。同学就起哄:老师也出个节目,跳个舞。 一男生叫道:“跳个钢管舞!”老师不懂钢管舞的意思,以为要让她跳,忙说:“我老了,不行了,年轻的时候还可以,大家。。。”   

14.我们高中时候快会考了,上的是地理课,老师在上面报一个地名我们就在下面回答矿产,说了很多地方,老师突然问了一句:“江南产什么?”全班男生齐声回答:“江南产美女!”   

15.坐在最后一排睡觉,旁边即是教室后门,每次下课,都是同桌把我叫醒,然后我径直走出教室沐浴阳光。某节课中,老师破天荒的叫我回答问题,酣睡中被同桌叫醒,我起身即推门走出教室,五分钟后,我在教室外感觉环境异样,随即快步赶回教室,全体师生做惊恐状。
[move][glow=255,bule,2]我不会幽默,因为我不想让你只拥有短暂的开心;我希望用我的感动,成为你永久贮存在内心的温暖![/glow][/move]
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I do not want to share your happiness

It is a good artical and it is helpful for me!
please read a short story as follows:
I note that Picking Lotus, is in a singing competition on. I remember had the first, to step down after sitting proudly at the players, but not a few people, look good in the dust I Kanguo Lai. I even tried to use a loud cough, lost to cause concern with the singer's admirers; unfortunately, is still around a Qingleng, a few girls, I am also proud of quietly singing, and dismissive of my white one. My happiness, in the outsider's left out in the cold, bleak moment matt. Picking Lotus on at this time, patted the back of my shoulder, smile said: On your songs, really the United States. I look back, in Hushan Mandrax the lights out, to see Yigunuanliu from Picking Lotus gentle eyes, Liu Yi slowly out for a while, then I'm looking forward Jinshi of the people to share the happiness of the Xin-Tian.
Since then, and I Picking Lotus, became Xixixiangtong mutual friend. Picking Lotus is an ordinary family also looks bad girls, in addition to singing, she can have nothing, can arouse the attention of outsiders. I, is the department's minister of culture, not only Nenggeshanwu, looks beautiful, but much like teachers, the boys love. Picking Lotus and I walk on the road, often unfamiliar with the boys from lines, I never Lengruobingshuang to ignore their hospitality, it is Picking Lotus, Guoyibuqu, softly-spoken for them to help me FAQ. And so every time they go, I will "teach" Picking Lotus: never to these boys are not too good, otherwise they would be even more Decunjinchi,惹人tired. Picking Lotus always careful to argue that: they are sincerely like your talent and your fans willing to do it. Picking Lotus a few words to refute this, the people do not like, what will I be happy, used to share with them &raquo; Can always help me to see her "review" the tough love letter, I will swallow it back.
Four years of university, I will always be that way leading superior princess, and Picking Lotus, then clinched to the funeral with me, I see unlimited scenery. Speech, chair, singing and every game, I have to do the limelight. I often shine on stage in full, while sitting in the audience Picking Lotus light exposure can not be a corner, silently blessing for me. Applause from the height of the time, I always look for Picking Lotus subconsciously to the line of sight, it seems that only in her there, That joy will be open to the maximum blooming, and in an instant, fragrance, every inch of space around Yiman . And love, in my side, is more prosperous Yaorao. They are in me, but the roadside flowers, like the time, on the other-to Erpan, tired of the time, readily won, abandoned a blind eye. Picking Lotus I always seem to love again, clean up the mess, and I never thought about Picking Lotus, is also a person like me, and so protected the girls love, she needed not only for others to distinguish love The authenticity, but a love of their own.
Until graduation, Picking Lotus did not wait until the love, I doubt the eve of her graduation, there have been a Secret Love, because she has become very strange love to dress up, and several Xiuse to take my clothes to wear. But every time I asked, but she always denied shaking his head. I then asked Picking Lotus Mangdao do not have the time that she said no, it must be clean blank. So as usual, I pull her to enjoy the performances, to her boyfriend just to show I bought a brand-name clothing, or a certain Yan Yu, Jiang Ji She listened to with relish. Picking Lotus is indeed a very good listener, she will always be in my time of need, into a Kuazan Yun, by the people, and I sincerely share the happiness and I often overlooked, Picking Lotus eyes Yulai Sheng of the more melancholy.
Yes, I only their love and study section, are the most perfect ending, but独独forgotten, Picking Lotus, who is also a need to encourage and care for women, will need an intravenous drip even the joy, all brewing Aromatic wine as a friend. To celebrate, I am a big way to please many people eat, and told them I was walking Qudu prestigious university graduate, and her boyfriend, also found a most satisfied with the work. Please be people who are Zhenzhenjiajia to compliment me, saying that God is love to me, for my life, can not find any flaws. My happiness, in the outsider's flatter, the expansion is going to be my own, have drowned off. And on at this time, I inadvertently from the clouds, Fu Shen, Picking Lotus actually see the bright eyes, Shuran extinguished.
Picking Lotus the first and last time, in my chatterbox to boast their own time, casually looking for a reason, withdrew in advance. After our busy with the many chores before graduation, contact gradually less, I received graduation certificates such as the day before suddenly think, to go sent to the sending Picking Lotus. But when I send text messages to her, she is indifferent to a Thank you, I put rejected. I do not understand, ask the past, but she Lengleng to block my phone. I finally lost patience and asked her message is not, to graduation, our friendship, but also with the end &raquo; Picking Lotus is after a long time before we reply to that: their friendship is, come to an end and I think that I have for it, do the best, then our way, is completely different, you need not, for the loss of a An extraordinary friend, excessive grief; After all, you around, Fanhuasijin, aromatic Siyi……
I once thought that, alone to return to their home town of Picking Lotus, only because of jealousy, I only gradually to alienate. Until one day, I am in a game, was concluded, the excitement in order to congratulate the winner, bought ice cream was given to every player on her PK, I casual and ripping, into the mouth , But found that the original favorite chocolate ice cream, I do not know why, to become so bitter. Wait to see the rise of the winner of a smile, I found out that the original and share a happy, this is a difficult thing. Picking Lotus and it is willingly, and I shared four years. Only at the last moment, she suddenly in my perfect life, as met with his humble.
I, is to be Picking Lotus, completely forget the time before that, and I share the Picking Lotus, was originally such a expansive true
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  在这里推荐一下学生会原创程序员DV短剧《让爱飞》
一段美好的记忆, 一个虚无梦境...懂得自己, 抑或明白他人;拥有理想, 抑或欺骗爱情?当生命结束, 你的爱会漂泊至何处...曾经走过的历程还会不会于世间留下任何的记忆.还是, 同你的名字, 你的身躯, 你的眼神, 你的言语, 你的梦想, 你的爱情一同飞向远方...http://url.cn/3GmHiV虽然还有很多不成熟的地方,还是希望您多多支持。
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